Jennifer Brozek’s mom takes us home! What’s in a nickname?

Jennifer’s mom was kind enough to pitch in for the roast. She was the first volunteer in fact. She was also the first person to turn in a story. That must run in the family.

Ms. Sigrid Brozek takes the mic:

In this life there are those people who never have a nickname … and those who have nicknames galore.  Jennifer is one who “collects” nicknames.  One of the nicknames she had was “Calamity Jane”.  She earned that.  It started with all the usual childhood accidents/injuries/mishaps that everyone goes through, then added a few more notable incidents.

 

• She and her twin brother were born in Alaska at Elmendorf AFB outside of Anchorage.  When she was three, Mom, Dad and older sister were in the backyard working.  She and her brother were supposed to be taking a nap – or at least having quiet time.  Well, Jenn really, really wanted to be outside with us.  Not sure exactly what she was trying to do – watch, or escape through the window, but somehow she got stuck half in and half out of the window (no screens).  She couldn’t go the rest of the way out and she couldn’t get back inside.  We were called to the window by cries of “Help me, somebody, help me!”  She was clearly stuck and in no danger. It was so funny, I laughed till I cried. It has become a watchword in our family.

 

• Belgium was a dangerous place for Jennifer. 

 

• She went to school in a Belgian school that only spoke French (she didn’t.) and survived. 

 

• That was also where she decided to see if a 220 light bulb was hot and stuck her thumb on it.  It was!  She got a badly burned thumb for her efforts.

 

• She cut her hand to the bone with a bread knife and had to be rushed to the ER.

 

• She tried to drive and put the car into neutral causing it to roll out and completely block the roadway.  We lived on a very sharp curve, not 90 degrees but probably 75 or 80.  It was down the road a half mile or so from a sugar beet factory and huge trucks raced past our house all the time. Needless to say, it ended well. 

 

• And there was the time she fell from a second story window inches from an old style water pump.  We were living in a 300 year old house that had 18 foot ceilings.  She should have been badly hurt.  But another trip to the ER showed only a small bruise on her shoulder.

 

Through it all she was usually stoic and didn’t complain.  She has always been my adventurous one.  She always wanted to try new things and was never afraid of getting lost.  She wanted to be different.  She wanted to be the eccentric auntie.  She’s pretty much achieved whatever she set her mind to.  It was not easy most times, but if she set the goal, she kept at it until she attained it.  If someone else set the goal, maybe she would do it, maybe not, depending on whether it suited her. 

Jenn’s Response:

I am a danger to myself though rarely to others.

 

I suppose it is a good thing that I don’t remember much of Alaska. It might have been traumatizing otherwise. However, I have to admit, the image of a kid, perfectly balanced in a window so that they could not go forward or back, is a funny one. Especially Mom’s mimic of what I apparently sounded like.

 

Belgium was an interesting time. To be fair, I was actually trying to turn off the light when I stuck my thumb on it. It was Dad’s “Oh, look, fried thumb for dinner” that made me holler louder.  Actually, the more I think about Belgium, the more surprised I am that I survived it.

 

And people wonder why I’m content to be the weird aunt to my nieces. I know what kids do to themselves.

 

Oh, and the part about getting lost… I can’t help it. I have a heroically bad sense of direction.

 

That’s a wrap for the Jennifer Brozek Roast. Please visit the landing page for more entries!

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Kenneth Mark Hoover and Jennifer Brozek shoot it out weird wild west style

My good friend, Kenneth Mark Hoover, volunteered to roast Jennifer Brozek. No sooner had I agreed, than I had one heck of a roast post on my hands.

Mark takes the mic:

I first became aware of Jennifer Brozek when the totality of the published words she was putting out threatened to overload the speculative fiction landscape and doom us all to an existence in Literary Black Holedom. An existence in which she is the literary center and the rest of us revolve around her in the knots and whorls of some gravitational word-vortex.

Seriously. This woman writes. Some of us talk about writing. She does it. And she never stops. I wouldn’t be surprised if she actually completes hardcopy in her sleep.

Result? She has success after

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Are you interested in some mastication?

I am lucky enough to have met Dylan through a small crit community we belong to. I knew he and Jennifer were friends and asked him to help roast the lovely lady.

Dylan Birtolo takes the mic:

Let’s see, I submitted to the Edge of Propinquity out of the blue because I had heard about it, read it a couple of times, and thought it would be a good match for my writing style. So, I submitted and was rejected. I tried again, with a separate story, and was rejected again. But, both times they were nice rejections where she said she wanted to see more.

I wound up meeting Jennifer at GenCon the following year. I was working in Author’s Avenue and she came by to talk to authors. We talked for a couple of minutes and her name was familiar. When she handed me her business card I loudly proclaimed “Oh! I know I knew you – you rejected me a couple of times!” It was a very interesting and amusing way of introducing myself to her and she was a little red-faced. We talked and she told me that she really liked my writing and spoke about what exactly I would need to do in order to get accepted. We talked about a story idea I had, and then I wrote the story and submitted it to her and was accepted!

From that point, we exchanged a few emails and she was generous with sending links and opportunities my way that she thought I would be good for. She is a very generous person that way. When she joined me at Author’s Avenue, I tried to return the favor with my previous experience.

I think my favorite smile-inducing experience was at GenCon this past year and having her, pitching her stories, saying to random passerby’s “Are you interested in some mastication?”

Jennifer Brozek responds:

Oh, come on, who can resist a little mastication? I masticate all the time. Alone and with people. Sometimes with many people. I will admit, though, I usually don’t masticate in bed. Most of the time, I masticate with my husband in the family room.

(For those who don’t know, I have a chapbook out called Mastication. It is ten stories about things eating people. My husband is the one who pointed out that I seem to have a thing about writing stories involving odd things that eat people. We had taffy to give away as part of the luring in of potential buyers.)

Yes, meeting Dylan was first for me. He was the first author I did not know who told me I had rejected him—twice. Most people don’t know but one of my greatest fears is to have someone I rejected come yell at me about it at a convention. I’m not sure what I would do if that actually happened.

But Dylan wasn’t that way. He had a huge smile on his face when he said it and his smile only got wider as I told him I remembered his stories and talked with him about why they weren’t accepted. He was a good first “rejected author” to have. He didn’t yell. He listened. He smiled and when he did submit again to The Edge of Propinquity, he wrote a story I bought.

Check out more roast posts on the Jennifer Brozek Roast Landing Page.

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Rick Silva Kills Jennifer Brozek

I invited Rick Silva to help me roast

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Angel Leigh McCoy gets caught slacking – Roast post #3

I asked Angel Leigh McCoy to help me roast Jennifer Brozek. I liked the story she shared with us. I hope you enjoy it as well. Please click the links to check out more information on both amazing ladies.

Angel Leigh McCoy takes the mic:

When I think of Jennifer Brozek, a few words come to mind: exacting, sharp, gung-ho, fearless, and quick. She reminds me of the school teacher who never lets you get away with anything.

I discovered Jennifer online, read some of her writing, and realized that this was a writer who would be going places—and we’d all better get the Hell out of her way or get run over.

I invited her to submit a story to the Wily Writers, and she responded by emailing me that the site was down. She had caught me slacking!

Jennifer doesn’t do anything in small measure. I asked for one story, and she sent me two. (Honoring the Dead and Nothing Left to Salvage)

I hated them for their talented word use and clever storylines, and I accepted them both for the site. Her stories were dark, scary, and full of dripping humanity. After reading them, I knew Jennifer was someone I never wanted as an enemy!

I finally had the opportunity to meet Jennifer at Crypticon horror convention in Seattle, 2009. She was all that and more in person, adding pretty and charming to my list of words. She started introducing me to her business contacts and tossing out ideas so fast my head was spinning.

Her firecracker energy fed the reading she did that evening, and she had full command of her audience. They, like me, knew better than to let their attention wander. They didn’t want to miss anything—in case Teacher gave us a quiz later. There was no quiz, but Teacher did give out hugs, and she told me I’d done a good job. It was the perfect ending to a wonderful day.

Now, I go to her when I need advice on publishing, editing, and writing. She’s the teacher you never forget, because no matter how tough she is on you, you always know that it’s for your own good, and you end up a better person because of her.

Thank you, Ms. Brozek, for being such a great teacher and example! Have an apple.

Jennifer Brozek responds:

Aww. This one isn’t so much a roast as a very cool comparison. Everyone had that tough teacher they loved to hate and hated to love because how much they pushed their students to do better.

What Angel doesn’t know is that behind that tough exterior was a person quaking in their shoes. I was terrified to meet someone I had never met, in a place I had never been before, at a venue I had only heard of. Courage is what you do when your voice quavers and your knees shake.

That said, I saw a lot of courage in Angel and the other authors there. I am so happy that Angel invited me to Wily Writers and to meet other Wily authors. I’ve published some of them now.

I am happy to share the love. Advice freely given if asked for. I will tell you what I can with what I know. I’m not always right but I am always sincere.

Thank you Angel.

Visit the Jennifer Brozek Roast Landing Page

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Seanan McGuire likes sweet things

When I asked Seanan Mcguire to help me roast Jennifer Brozek, she was happy to do it. She thought, and she thought….

Seanan likes cupcakes especially those made by Cups and Cakes Bakery (see the picture on the left!). Jennifer is sweet. So much so that I don’t think she had the heart to roast Ms. Brozek proper!

This seems to be going around. I am currently investigating Jennifer as a cavity-causing agent.

 

 

 

 Seanan’s turn at the mic:

Hrm

Sadly, I don’t really have anything roastable about Jenn. Normally, she’s the one hauling me out of the path of certain doom, not the other way around.

Seanan

Jennifer’s response:

Perhaps I am too cautious with Seanan and her wants.

Perhaps the world could use genetically modified primeval reptiles (MG’s note: See the link for Seanan’s dinosaur commandos) whose bite delivers venom so toxic that it would kill a 200 pound man in under a minute.

Perhaps we should pay homage to He Who Walks Behind the Rows in the form of unsuspecting people.

Perhaps the world would be better off with slow moving zombies shuffling about and aliens occasionally descending upon the populous. It would keep things lively.

Then again, perhaps not.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Let me give you a little bit of background on Seanan. She is a wonder to behold in the way she handles her writing life and a personal inspiration of mine. She is the author of the October Daye Series. She just got word today that DAW Books has picked up the next two books in the series. Please stop by and congratulate her on the great news. I’ve read the first installment and loved it. I have a long overdue review for that one. I also have the second, A Local Habitation. I bought it the day it came out. I anxiously await the rest. She also has a new series, Newsflesh, as penned by Mira Grant.

Beyond that, and here is where Jennifer and Seanan intersect for me, she is writing the Sparrow Hill Road Series published exclusively at The Edge of Propinquity, Jennifer Brozek’s E-zine. I’d already read Rosemary and Rue by the time Inspirations was published at TEoP. This was before Seanan was added to the regular authors appearing on the 15th of each month. I love that story. Please go check it out if you have a chance. She also has a story, “Animal Husbandry,” appearing in Grants Pass, which you heard about yesterday.

Make sure you play around with the links. I try to use different hotlinks for names so that you can find the folks and their work at different places around the net.

Visit the Jennifer Brozek Roast Landing Page

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Amanda Pillar dishes the goods

Grants Pass

The apocalypse has arrived. Humanity was decimated by bio-terrorism; three engineered plagues were let loose on the world. Barely anyone has survived. Just a year before the collapse, Grants Pass, Oregon, USA, was publicly labelled as a place of sanctuary in a whimsical online, “what if” post. Now, it has become one of the last known refuges, and the hope, of mankind. Would you go to Grants Pass based on the words of someone you’ve never met?

Everyone please welcome co-editor of ‘Grants Pass’, Amanda Pillar:

Who would have thought that the end of the world would be such a prickly topic?

When Jennifer first sent me a copy of

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Roasting Jennifer Brozek

Today kicks off the roasting of my dear friend, Jennifer Brozek. I serve as the evil administrator of her facebook fan page. When I was planning out my featured folks segments this year, I asked her to be one of my victims. In brainstorming for activities, I came up with a roast. She was willing. Little did she know…

As it turns out, her peers don’t have many roast-worthy stories. Apparently, Jennifer is too sweet. I am currently searching for anyone that has contracted cavities from contact with her. Anyway, I will be posting the guest roasters’ stories and quotes along with Jennifer’s replies for the remainder of the week. You are welcome to comment. She will be tracking the posts as well. I will have a landing page set up with links to the entries as well. Please feel free to boost the signal.

Jennifer Brozek - Roasting Victim

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The Long December

Counting Crows will be crooning us into this new month. October was about balance. I spent time learning how to balance my writing life with work and home. I spent time learning how to balance different aspects of my writing life with each other during the time I had to spend on it as a whole. November was about introspection. We will get to that in just a minute.

December though is about action. As you saw in my last post, I have some pretty definite goals to reach this month. They are not all I need to accomplish. I also realize that my writing time might be compressed during certain periods of the month. I’ve been planning for this. I want to get it done. I want to meet these goals. If I accomplish these, I will have done more than I planned to get to in my writing for the year. I also need to map out next month and the first half of next year.

This is where November comes back in. In a previous post I mentioned what I was contemplating last month. “November will be about introspection, gratitude, and growth. What are my goals as a writer? What have I accomplished this year? What have I failed to achieve and why? What will I work on next year? How will I get there? What should I continue to do? What should I drop?”

Let’s take these one at a time. My goals as a writer are pretty simple. I want to write quality dark fiction and get it in the hands of readers that will enjoy it. I want to learn, grow and continue as a practicing writer. I want to help others in their writing journey.

This year I’ve become a better review writer. I have promoted the works of others. I finished one story and have seen its rejection. I have mapped out several others. I have made better use of available social networking tools. I’ve made new connections, strengthened old ones, and added to what I hope will one day be my fan base. It is currently one heck of a support system/cheering squad. I built one website for another writer and created my own. I joined a small writing group and have managed to be an active participant. I have continued to beta read for a couple of people outside of the group and am improving my editing skills as I go.

So far, I haven’t finished the stories I wanted to this year. The bottom line is poor time management and lack of commitment to the practice of writing, in this case I mean words on screen/page/ whatever. I’ve been working on this during the last part of the year. Really there is nothing to it but to do it. I see my fiction page, and I lament that there isn’t more there for you, my readers and friends to go chase down. I am not diminishing my one, sold story. I am just frustrated that I haven’t sent more out this year. Maybe next year I will get to gripe about the tons of rejections I’ve gotten. I will be proud of that!

I think the previous entry and what is written above covers what my goals are for the remainder of the year, and as I am trying to set the pace for the coming year, you get a pretty good idea of my goals for the next. If you are on my LJ beta filter, then you will be getting more on this in detail. I will accomplish this by managing my time wisely, setting realistic goals, and honoring my commitment to the practive.

I will continue to work with social networks to broaden my audience and make more connections. I will also explore what I can do with my website to include the featured folks segments next year. I will continue to promote others and remain active in the crit group. I will stick with my beta reading. I will continue to run my writing community, Lobo_Luna on LJ. I will write more reviews and query zines to see if they are interested in them for publication. Most importantly, I will write. I will finish stories. I will redraft them and send them out into the world.

I am not sure what I should drop at this point. I think I’ve already taken steps to minimize the time I waste on the net. I’ve realized that the other aspects of my writing life do play an important role. I just need to be sure the stories are there too.

Ok that is my babble. What about you? What do you feel like sharing about your year? last month? this month? the next year? We can talk lessons learned, goals, or even how your Saturday night plans played out.

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Dino Love

So after eating everything in sight – ok not quiet everything – it is back to work for me.

Over the holiday, I caught up on my critique work. I planned a short story. I read. I am telling you right now, Seanan McGuire’s Rosemary and Rue does not disappoint. I hope to have a review for you guys this week. I have a feeling it will be gone all too quickly.

My goals for this month are simple:

Promote the work of others due heavy December retail traffic. People, buy books. Please!

Finish at least two more reviews.

Crank out three stories.

Complete a second draft for my alien story.

Yeah, I have very high hopes for December. If I get all of this accomplished, it will be a true gift to myself. Care to share your plans for the month of December? Will you be polishing up your NaNoWriMo from November? I want to extend a hearty congratulations to those of you who accomplished your November goals, whatever they might have been.

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